Night and Day
An epiphany fell out of nowhere to tell me it might be a good time to think about who I am. Write down a few pages and/or do a two column page of good and bad of me. (Which column will be longer?)
A simple way to begin is to list my physical appearance, attitude, major concerns, strengths and weaknesses.
Strength. Today I bought and installed a window air conditioner, an inexpensive model that has low frequency hum*. I discovered it also has a tapping noise inside that I thought was rain on the outside.
I did not want to do the drive or deal with the installation at all. I had to remind myself that during heat waves last year, twice I was in the danger zone for heat exhaustion. I pushed myself to get the a/c done today.
Weakness. Too much of my life is spent trying to not feel bad by managing intense dreads and depression.
Anyway, changing the angle of how we think about ourselves feels like looking around a corner we didn't pay attention to before. The light is different.
Whatever you think about yourself, be it a road in day or night,
have a good flashlight and extra batteries.
* Hum noise was fluctuating this morning. I unplugged a/c, plugged it back, pressed the reset button, and changed the setting to a medium cool. The humming noise isn't loud enough to be annoying. There's nice cool air in the room with a gentle rush of the fan.
I love this analogy. It reminds me that our mistakes and flaws don't define us. I bet your list of good is longer than the bad.
ReplyDeleteLux,
ReplyDeleteMaking our own list, we have the power to make the good side longer. :)
Well put.
ReplyDeleteThe good is longer than the bad…I hope anyway! Bad…doubting myself.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry. I know you didn't mean to call the a/c a 'widow' air conditioner and that it was a typo - but - it brought to mind my poor husband having to wrangle one into an apartment window for one of the women he worked with and I had to laugh. His comment when he came home after that debacle was 'that thing is a widow-maker' (in reference to the very real possibility of him dropping the massive thing four floors down if he lost control of it and hitting who-knows-who down below). We have a portable a/c unit that sits on the floor and simply vents out the window. Much safer to install!
ReplyDeleteThere's some nice philosophy in here today. I'm going to reread.
ReplyDeleteThank you, William
ReplyDeleteA good self thought clean out is similar to organizing a closet, looks nice until you turn around to see the stuff that doesn't fit anymore, that you need to sort as well. :)
Marie,
ReplyDeleteSpot on! Doubting.
I didn't think of that one. It is a very good point to ponder.
Maryanne,
ReplyDeleteLOL! That is funny.
I corrected the window spelling. My new a/c is heavier than others in the past or else I'm weaker.
Liz,
ReplyDeleteGlad to help.
I'll be having fun lengthening my good column.
A beautiful post, Maywyn. It is always good to take stock of ourselves and hopefully to keep improving.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Debra
ReplyDeleteIt will be interesting to take the bad column and spin it around like the media does with news.
Positive vibes.
ReplyDeleteGraham,
ReplyDeleteThe view around the corner has to be interesting.