Loneliness, Now an Epidemic
The recent declaration from the US Surgeon General that lonliness is an epidemic is good to hear.
People without a social network or one that offers a minimal amount of human contact need help.
I have no problem being a loner. However, since the pandemic, I have realized that to be healthy, I need to have much better social contact. Not easy to do with anxiety issues to deal with.
Blogging helps. Chatting with neighbors helps. Emails help. Journaling daily is a type of conversation subsitute. Attending local events goes only so far because after a while, I am even more acutely aware I am there alone. To avoid that sadness, I stay home.
There is no local senior center. There are book clubs, Tai Chi and such. But, no when you are able place to visit (other than taverns and social clubs). Front Porch Forum provides a community type connection.
Personal ads or dating services might work for some people. Over 40 years ago I tried a popular personal ad feature ( in another state). I literally had nightmares after a few dates.
A one size fits all social center would be nice, no membership to keep up, not alcohol focused. I don't know of such places or if they exist.
What do you think? Are there such places? Do you visit a senior center? Any ideas are welcome
I'm in a library knitting group and a current affairs discussion group in another library. The people are becoming friends, because we see each other every week. Everyone comes alone, most are either widowed/divorced or their partner isn't interested in the group. It's not a couples atmosphere, which is nice when you're attending alone.
ReplyDeleteLiz,
ReplyDeleteThat is wonderful.
I like the sound of a current events group. I'll have a talk with the local librarian here.
I regularly attend a sports club and an English class once a week... and yes, the blog is also very nice to socialize, I've already had a few bloggers visit and have visited them... a hug to you from Viola.
ReplyDeleteI wish you a really nice day.
Viola,
ReplyDeleteSports and education are good activities.
A nice day to you as well
Senior center, for socializing....I am good with just hanging with my friends. I used to be a really social person but as age sneaks up on me, the fibro gets worse each day, then the past few yrs., I have gotten to the point that I like staying home with my furs. My mom used to tell me my middle name should be GO....cause I loved to go. Wished I still had that in me.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I are pretty private people. Such a centre would not be a good match for us. If I was alone I’d consider joining the senior centre here. For now, we walk every day and chat with friends we’ve met along the boardwalk. Sometimes we go for coffee.
ReplyDeleteI hosted a book club before the pandemic but we haven’t taken it up yet. Book club is a great way to socialize!
My husband and I were just talking about this issue over breakfast. I was telling him how the past 3 years have changed people, changed me-and how hard it was when we all had to isolate. And when we were in groups, we had to wear a mask-which made the whole social idea something of a sci-fi experience. We watched church on YouTube and felt even more isolated.
ReplyDeleteSo it is a good thing to be thinking of ways to connect with people! I hope you will find ways to be with people and make new friends. I also need to do it!
Pam,
ReplyDeletePets are fantastic companions. Watching youtube videos can even feel like being out and out. Cats and dogs are great listeners. :)
Marie,
ReplyDeleteBeing active outdoors is built in nature socializing.
Having a partner adds 2 years to life over a single person. Would be a stretch, though, to get married for the 2 year bonus. lol
Debra,
ReplyDeleteGood point. The whole pandemic had a science fiction vibe. I hope your changes are bringing you new happinesses.
For me, and I suspect other loners, isolation is life as usual. It wasn't difficult for me.
My best friend has a Bible Study class, and I think that's always nice to connect and learn about the Biblical times. Very interesting too. Even going out shopping, I connect with people. I have met nice ladies who own the shops, and we chat when I visit their shops. You're right, blogging is a good way to connect as well. I think we all get lonely from time to time. But with me, fun get-togethers and events are fine for a bit, but it's always nice to be back to home sweet home. I don't like too much hype. I am blessed with a big family, and some live up this way, and some live in So Cal. My sister used to be in a quilting group. There used to be an art class back in my home town. That would be just right for you, as you are an artistic person. I like how you get out and take walks. You probably come across interesting and wonderful things along the way. Good subject, my friend.
ReplyDelete~Sheri
I don't go to the senior center. In fact, I'm not sure we have one, though we must. There are lots of senior activities, though, that I haven't taken advantage of. I'm pretty introverted (I did well during Covid, apart from missing travel). And then I have Rick and a few very close friends near. But in the summer when I'm at th elake, especially if Rick is on a long bike hike, I do kind of miss people. That said, one reason I like PT is seeing people. It's not like we hang together, but the energy is good.
ReplyDeleteI define it as I'm alone, but not lonely. If that makes sense.
ReplyDeleteSheri,
ReplyDeleteYour spread of human contact sounds good. Walks provides the exercise we need to be healthy, physically and emotionally.
Talking to shop clerks is pleasant when they are in a welcoming mood.
Jeanie,
ReplyDeleteYour spread of contact is good as well, balanced. It is a joy to read about your friend excursions and dinners.
The senior centers I've heard and read about nearby, but outside my city, seem to be nice active places engaged in the community.
William,
ReplyDeleteGood point. You make perfect sense.
Alone is a comfort more often than not, I think, for most people. An imbalance, I think, is where the point of loneliness begins to be an issue of concern.
I think there's a senior centre here but we've never gone. We're not card players and have no interest in playing shuffleboard or dancing, so there's not much there that's of interest to us. I have two good friends and get together once a week with them (separately) for coffee and a gab session. I belong to the local quilt guild but haven't gone to any of the meetings this year and I really don't miss it. My outside contacts are primarily online through blogging and that's enough to keep me engaged.
ReplyDeletePerhaps your library has a program you could get involved in? Maybe they have art classes? Maybe you could advertise and see if you could get a small number of people who would like to walk and paint outdoors?
Maryanne,
ReplyDeleteYou are busy taking care of Resident Chef. Yiur activity level is good for you.
Gabs over coffee is a good connection.
Your suggestions are really good. Starting up a plein painting group, I am considering.
I can definitely spend too much time alone. As I anticipate yet another surgery in my future this spring/summer I have been giving thought to how I can handle the recovery period which gets very lonely. I made the best of things last spring when recovering from an emergency gall bladder surgery, but I want to do better. This time I should at least be able to plan for it in some fashion.
ReplyDeleteBecki,
ReplyDeleteYou sound to be on the right path, to plan for the recovery period.
Things to look forward to can provide a sense of purpose. Pick days where you want to read a book, research a subject, make a recipe, call a friend.
Prayers for your good health