Depression 24/7/365
Tis the season for many as one of few jolly moments.
There is no enigmatic smile on our faces or in our hearts.
How we carry our condition along through the year may be similar to some but not to others.
Based on my life's journey with depression, all I write about here is based on that first-hand experience.
Everyone, I believe, goes through stages as they age and participate in different events, birth, jobs, adventures, moving education and such. Our personalities develop and sometimes, there are hiccups in that process.
Depression, for me, is what causes my being me hiccups. At present, the type of depression episode I've been coping with for over a year is not the same as in the past. I think of it as a depression meh episode.
I used to notice symptoms and deal with them as they arise. This time, while able to laugh, enjoy, have clarity, most of what I felt connected to has disconnected. It is there. I know about it. I remember it. It is all a pile of meh to me now. Weird.
The most significant part of my meh episode is that there is no constant wallowing in sadness, melancholy, dreads or paranoia.
At this stage, I feel, reading about depression that others experience is a good idea because it might help me understand better what is going on. Maybe being at the end stage of my life is impacting me stronger than I anticipated. I have been clearing out stuff lately. That release of the past might have freed up space in my mind to explore this part of my life journey.
Do you have books on depression to recommend?
Sometimes Joel Osteen provides spiritual books, and they are really uplifting. I'm sorry you have depression, but it sounds like it doesn't have a hold on you, which is important. Sometimes going to a craft fair, book store, or even walking downtown browsing through the shops is fun. People often focus on others being around loved ones this time of year, but I know friends who are married who feel so alone. The world is also "hyped up" which doesn't help any, right? But just know it is all hype, and if we concentrate on this precious baby born in a stable, a smile comes upon our face. And He surely loves you, as all your blog friends do. : )
ReplyDelete~Sheri
Wise words, Sheri, thank you
DeleteThe holiday being so much about shopping and collecting toys, there's no room it seems for just having a regular holiday season without emotional guilt or feeling left out.
I'm going to deflect any blues that appear by baking cookies.