Living With Anxiety
This is my version based on my experiences living with depression since, I believe, I was a very young child. Mother took me to doctors who couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. I was always tired, missed lots of school, just not quite a spry kid. I was called lazy.
Anxiety. A very bad emotional and physical feeling that all at once everybody in the world hates me, and wishes me ill.
Dreads. A very bad sense that something horrific is going to happen to me ranging from from mild to severe.
Panic attack. Sheer terror in its most concentrated sense.
Anxiety attack. At its worse, a feeling like I am dieing.
The difference between a panic attack and anxiety attack for me is that with an anxiety attack, I feel like I am dieing; and with a panic attack, I know I am dieing or might be dead, but nobody told me.
PTSD is the salad made from all of the above.
I manage my symptoms based on my decades of experience. Mostly, I avoid being too active in situations that involve a lot of people, too many appointments in a short time frame, and, being careful of what I eat. When I drive, I rarely use the radio and never wear cologne because they might trigger an anxiety surge. Days, sometimes weeks before an event or appointment, I begin to prepare by having a bland diet, relaxing, and going over in my mind the event. It is an adjustment struggle knowing folks aren't going to bite me, but I know they have teeth.
There is a lot of good information out there about managing mental health issues. Read, research, and know your rights.
I'm so sorry you had these struggles when you were young, and it's so great of you to try to manage your symptoms now, so they don't come on again. There is a lot of mental health issues in today's world. Thank you for sharing your story with us, as it will help others who are going through the same thing. A brave woman you are with knowledge, compassion, and care, to give insight to those who are dealing with the same thing. You are a good woman, indeed. I think you're right, diet plays a major role with our mental and physical health.
ReplyDelete~Sheri
Sheri,
ReplyDeleteThank you. Food is huge in managing depression and anxiety.
One day you can eat something, but another day you can't. Crackers get it for me. I have crackers, then I feel safe from stomach issues.
Thanks so much for being generous enough to write this account. It's helpful to people who have such anxiety, less alone, and to people who don't, better understanding. Go you!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Liz, for the encouragement to share my experiences.
ReplyDeleteThank you for writing this post! It helps me understand what others are going through. You have made great progress. Take care, my friend.
ReplyDeleteMarie,
ReplyDeleteThe view from progress is a vista to behold. :)
Have a wonderful day!
I appreciate your sharing this experience so openly and honestly. In a way (though all are different) it helps me connect with some of the issues that our oldest deals with. No answers, but greater understanding.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you struggle with these things, Maywyn. I think it's great that you have educated yourself and are very self-aware. You know how to manage your life to mitigate many of the symptoms. My hat goes off to you. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteJeanie,
ReplyDeleteEveryone is different. What works for one, may not work for another and vice versa.
One thing that I've learned that someone told me they do, is writing to the anxiety to go away, writing the words over and over...go away. The process put my attention away from the anxiety.
Lorrie,
ReplyDeleteThank you. Feeling a surge of anxiety isn't always the way it arrives, but it sure helps to get a head start dealing with it.
You have described me for the past year. And I have to say reading your words helped me greatly. I haven't been able to blog in a while because of this. It's hard for me to paint, so I just do some awful looking stuff that is done quickly, because I can't concentrate or even wish to finish a more complicated piece. This stuff is hard! My husband is tender and always patient. I'm not sure I could be a care-person if our roles were reversed. but maybe now that I've experienced it and the horrors-I would have compassion.
ReplyDeleteSo Maywyn, thank you-you have helped me.
In sharing, Debra, we help each other.
ReplyDeleteI am sure with your great heart, you would be a wonderful caregiver.
What I try to do during intense episodes is to switch out what I gravitate towards, like computer games, television, and too much napping. I added a no computer games day to the week.
Blogging allows me to step outside my anxiety. Even for a short moment, it brings relief.
Your vulnerableness is appreciated, May. And your descriptions of different strong feelings and experiences is helpful to read. I love how self-aware you are. And how well you express these kinds of things.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Becki
ReplyDeleteWhen we live with situations for so long, thoughts gather well enough to express them.
Have a wonderful weekend.
My heart aches for the child that experienced this and applauds the warrior she became to live with this struggle. I'm glad that you found strategies that help and thank you for sharing such a personal experience that will, without a doubt, help others. Best wishes.
ReplyDeleteLisa,
ReplyDeleteThank you for the kind words. Warrior is a word that I haven't considered myself being a part of that tribe.
Have a wonderful weekend!