Many years ago, a neighbor asked me to removed a 4 foot autumn scarecrow, (overalls, shirt and hat) because her husband was terminally ill, and it reminded her of death.
I removed it within the hour. I didn’t question her or try to change her mind. The scarecrow was a yearly display other residents enjoyed. Nobody complained to me when I took it down . Those that approached me were as sympathetic as me.
PTSD. You don’t know what might bother you or even understand why. Even if you don’t have PTSD, anyone can be bothered by something. That may be simple to other people or feel silly, but to the person triggered, the discomfort, to varying degrees, can be severe physically and mentally.
Unfortunately for me, a particular display I don’t like, that makes me uncomfortable, has been put outside where I see it every time I walk out my front door. In other places, it doesn’t bother me.
I didn’t ask that it be removed. I asked that it be hung elsewhere, facing away from my front door, and/or not hung until 2 weeks before Halloween. It has been up since at least mid September.
My requests have been denied, as expected.
So I found a way to deal with it. My discomfort decreased until I arrive home from an errand today and see somebody positioned the display in such a way as to be in my face even more than just hanging there. I sent another email to management to ask that the display be hung without gestures.
PTSD. About the bothers. When a trigger happens, it does not go away quickly unless it can be stopped or removed. The discomfort can take a long time to subside. The episode is a painful time for a person with PTSD. It is in many ways similar to adjusting your life to avoid panic or anxiety attacks.
If you are confronted with a situation that bothers a person, with or without PTSD, try to reach a compromise, be compassionate, and fair. Please, don’t laugh or be dismissive towards the person suffering.
Adding. Non visual disabilities are often difficult for people to grasp because they have no evidence to help them identify, to understand.
Non visual disability persons have to speak up for others to learn. However, that can mean explaining more about their condition than a person should need to. Reactions differ. I don’t use my PTSD condition. I believe a person voicing their discomfort should be enough.
Laughter and anger aren’t good reactions in response to anyone voicing their discomfort.
I cannot imagine ignoring such a request, Mae. Thank you for the sharing the reminder!
ReplyDeleteMarie,
ReplyDeleteThank you. I did receive an answer to my request. I’m told that the display stays because it doesn’t block access. My reply to that, however, has been ignored.
It is difficult for many people to grasp what a non visual disability is. I wasn’t going to post about this. The message is important.
May
I am sorry for this disturbance to you and the insensitivity of many people. It takes so little effort to respond and make people feel safe and comfortable in a situation like this. Thank you for sharing your experience.
ReplyDeleteLorrie,
DeleteThank you. I hope this helps people understand situations like this.
May
I'm sorry that you were bothered with a sign that was unpleasant to you and right in your view. I hope management considers options, and finds a solution.
ReplyDelete~Sheri
Sheri,
DeleteIt is a situation the powers that be, I think, don’t understand. That makes it more uncomfortable for me, but this isn’t my first rodeo. I’ll be all right.
May