There is a place I want to go to. I had a late start getting ready that caused me to miss the time I planned on. I’m not happy about that because I want to go there during the morning hours.
So, despite the late start, I got ready anyway. And that is where I have been for going on three hours, sitting here waiting just in case the anxiety decreases enough for me to get out the door.
A new issue enters the scene. I am hungry. I haven’t eaten anything today. I had a half cup of coffee. When I am going to be out and about, I limit eating (except for maybe crackers). Today I planned to have a small meal where I was going.
Eating stimulates the digestive system. With anxiety, if I have a hint of a cramp or uneasy digestion issue, an anxiety attack will pop up or start building in intensity until I turn around and go home.
This is what I have to deal with when I want to go anywhere special, even as simple as sitting outdoors to paint.
I’m also not happy I have on my favorite outfit. I’ll have to find something else to wear or do laundry. 😕
To be continued…tomorrow is today. I’m not going anywhere so I can rest and feel better about tomorrow.
I'm so sorry about your anxiety.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Nicole
DeleteThankfully it doesn’t happen when I need to grocery shop. 😂
May
I can sympathize-believe me. For me-when I can't get some exercise, I can feel the stress hormone building up and causing me to go way off in my thinking. My husband is so helpful because he prays for me-I really need that. I have had a wonderful spell of feeling good now for quite a while. It is such a luxury. So I can pray for you about it too.
ReplyDeleteThank you Debra
DeletePrayers for you as well
I figured out if I chose a day I don’t plan on, anxiety doesn't have a chance to kick in.
May
I appreciate your writing about this. I don't usually suffer from anxiety, and yet all of this is so familiar. I think when I move through a day (or morning) as you've described here, it's typically because I just don't feel good. The next day, hopefully, I feel better and I am more productive. I do have a loved one that I'm beginning to think deals with undiagnosed anxiety, and this may help me to be more sensitive, patient, and maybe even helpful. I don't think (or, at least I hope I'm not) problematic, but it might be good to read how one can actually be helpful. Your experience is valuable, May.
ReplyDeleteThank you Becki
DeleteDon’t be hard on yourself. It isn’t easy to know what anxiety is at first.
May
I'm sorry you didn't make it to your special place. Maybe try again. Sometimes those places we are most uncomfortable to go to brings us pleasant surprises. But also, do what brings us happiness and peace.
ReplyDeleteThank you Sheri
DeleteI figured out the main issue. In my single parent days, I couldn’t afford to bring my kids there. It wasn’t until family visited and paid for my ticket that I went there. Empty nester then and alone now, I look forward to the visit. Old memories need to fade.
May